Self discovery: Live better through Self care

Hi, welcome to the seventh day of The Leads Intellectual challenge: a 30-day intellectual challenge with Fatai Kareem. If you would like to how you can find your life purpose, read the sixth day challenge here.

Today, he will be discussing how you can live better through self-care. Do you usually feel stressed, sad, or burnout? Are you frustrated at yourself? Do you even think getting rid of your life is next to stopping all the stress? You want to know how you can live better?

Well, understanding how you can care more for yourself will save you from many bad experience and negative thoughts. How then can you care for yourself?

Self-care refers to any activity or action you performed deliberately in order to take care of your physical, mental and emotional needs. It is the support and care you give to yourself in order to be healthy. It involves understanding your own needs and satisfying those needs in order to stay healthy. 

Practising self-care does not mean that you only care about yourself. Rather, it simply means that you pay attention to your own needs and take care of yourself, so that you are better able to meet the needs of others and care for them as well. Being able to take care of yourself will enable you to live healthier and be able to handle the stress of supporting and taking care of your loved ones.

There are seven types of self-care: personal, physical, practical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual.

• Personal self-care: these are things you do that help you discover your true self rather than being what people think you are. It helps to make time for yourself to look into yourself to see your strength and weakness, and how best you can help others without ignoring your own needs. It involves self-awareness, self-reflection, self-love, self-acceptance, self-discovery, personal development and growth. This helps you to answer questions like: "who am I?", "Who do I want to become?", "how well can I do things I need to do to become who I want to become?", "what are my shortcomings and how can I improve them?".

• Physical self-care: these are things you do that improve the well-being of your physical health. It involves doing things that make your body feel good, and avoiding things that hurt your body. It helps you to answer questions like: "how much time do I need for myself to be physically healthy?", "what do I need to do be physically sound?", "what can I do to feel good about my body?", "what are things that affect my body and how can I stop those things?".

• Practical self-care: these are things you do that fulfill core areas of your life in order to prevent future stressful situations. It involves planning important things, engaging better with your environment, getting counsel on some issues, taking professional development courses, and making financial budget. It helps you to answer questions like: "what are things that can harm me in my surroundings and how can I get rid of those things?", "how can I plan ahead and organise necessary resources to get my activities done?", "what are possible future changes in my career or society and how can I meet those changes?".

• Emotional self-care: these are things you do that help you feel good. It is about handling to your emotions in a healthy way and cultivating emotional intelligence. It helps you to answer these questions: "how much time do you I need for myself to be emotionally stable?", "how can I handle my negative emotions and feel better?", "what are the causes of my negative emotions and how can I get rid of them?", "how well am I emotionally intelligent, and how can I improve on it?

• Mental self-care: these are things you do that stimulate and nurture your mind or intellect. It helps you think properly, reflect on rational thoughts, nurture sound mindset, and increase your intellectual capacity and knowledge. It helps you to answer questions like: "how much time do I need for myself to be mentally healthy?", "what can I do to to be mentally sound?", "what are the cause of my negative thoughts and how can I get rid of them?", "how can I concentrate on important tasks and stay focused?", "what is my intellectual capacity and how can I improve on it?".

• Social self-care: these are things you do that nurture and deepen your relationships with people. It ensures that the people in your life are respecting you as a person and valuing you as much as you value them. And you are living a fulfilled life with those people. It helps you to answer questions like: "how much time do I need to stay with people that matter to me?", "who are the people that really matter to me and how can I be of help to them?", "who are people in my life that are draining my energy or bringing me down, and how can I stay away or protect myself from their negative impact?", "how can I be valuable to others and be valued as much as I value them?".

• Spiritual self-care: these are things you do that nurture your spirit and soul, and allow your faith to grow. It is not necessarily being religious; it may involve meditation, being in nature, yoga, or self-reflection. It helps you to answer questions like: "how much time do I need to be spiritually sound?", "how can I grow my spirit and soul?", "why do I believe in this faith?", "how can I purify my soul?", "what do I need to do to feel inner peace with my body, mind, soul and spirit?".

Self-care is an effective way for managing stress. It enables you to make a balance between your life and work or other things you do. If you don't practise self-care, these things may break you down. The situations and pressures that cause stress are known as stressors. 

Common external stressors include:

• financial problems

• work or school

• children and family

• relationship difficulties

• being too busy

Common internal stressors include:

• unrealistic expectations

• inability to accept uncertainty

• lack of flexibility

• pessimism

• perfectionism

If you feel:

• irritable or angry often

• too anxious or full of worry

• achy or sick often

• overwhelmed or tired often

• lonely or isolated

• sad or unhappy often

• down or depressed

If you are having difficulty:

• eating properly

• relaxing

• remembering things

• concentrating on things

• getting your work done

• performing your responsibilities

• making good decisions

If you are:

• sleeping too much or too little

• eating more or less

• using alcohol, cigarettes, or drug to relax or "feel better"

• withdrawing from others

• gaining or loosing weight

• neglecting or procrastinating your responsibilities

If you are having:

• chest pains

• rapid heart rate

• frequent colds or flu

• diarrhea or constipation

• aches and pains

• headache

Then, self-care is the necessary action to be taken. You can practise self-care through these ways:

• Eating healthy food and eating right.

• Exercising regularly and daily.

• Sleeping well and taking enough rest.

• Working with a schedule and organising your activities.

• Practising relaxation exercises.

• Making time for things that give you joy.

• Avoiding the use or misuse of alcohol and drugs.

• Showing yourself love and care.

• Taking break when necessary.

• Seeking professional advice and counseling.

• Nurturing good mindset.

• Learning to say "no" to those things that can impact you negatively.

• Learning to say "no" to other things when you need to take care of yourself.

• Reading books and watching videos on self-care and things that help you function well.

• Engaging in personal development and growth activities.

• Connecting with those people that matter to you, share your thoughts with them and ask them for help when necessary.

• Taking your time to reflect on your inner needs and satisfy them.

• Maintaining a healthy, happy and hygienic lifestyle.

Self-care can also help you overcome suicidal thoughts. 

Case study

1. Mr Khalid works for 30 hours per week. He lives and works well. He is about to be transferred abroad with a huge salary, which requires that he works for 45 hours per week. He declines the transfer. Is his decision right? If he accepts the offer, how can it affect his life?

2. Mrs Williams, a caregiver, does feel overwhelmed, tired and achy. What can she do to feel better?

3. FT is frustrated at himself because he could not address the crowd. He takes drug to feel "high" and has the confidence to talk to them. Anytime he can not take the drug, he feels depressed and anxious. He worries about this attitude and comes to you for an advice. What are things he can do to feel better? What advice can you give to him?

Disclaimer: All names used are for illustration purpose.

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